He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
