hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
