We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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