try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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