I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
