everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
