Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
