my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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