scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
