so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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