sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
