forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
