ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I need moral support for this bender
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
