i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
