bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
