lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
