I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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