found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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