Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
