we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
