if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i barfeds in our rink
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
All the doctor said was why
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
