Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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