Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
