I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
