Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
