I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
