Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
