I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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