He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
