just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
