i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
