Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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