The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I checked into jail on foursquare
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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