So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
