I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
