i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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