Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
