But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
