David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
