he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
