i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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