Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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