everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
