Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
