I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
