she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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