She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
