Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
