Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
