I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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