i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
COCAINE IS GR8
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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