i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
