NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
