im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
