He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
